To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
