Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
