Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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