Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
