Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
