I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
