Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
