I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Text me some of your sweat
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
