She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
