I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
