why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
