I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
