after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
