Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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