my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
There r osticjed everywhere
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
