Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
