I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
