Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
