are you still at the devil's house?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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