i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
