Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize