no, he came in my armpit
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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