KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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