Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
