Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
