I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
this will be a night to untag.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
