I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize