when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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