thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
