She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize