I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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