I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
