I'm really into asian looking animals
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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