I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
