Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
