Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
