she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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