i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
