So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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