Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
