The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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