i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
