its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
