do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
