just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
