I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i think my cat just said my name.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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