she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize