YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
