I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
