im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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