Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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