living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
