Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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