fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
