I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
