i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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