OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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