Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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