would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
