You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
