i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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