I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
