dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
