this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
