my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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