lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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