Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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