He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
