Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize