Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
