I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
