So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
