He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
