so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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