I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
